I expect you to be on your best behavior, girls. Emily, set a good example. These words filled my childhood days. Treating others with kindness and respect was highly valued by our mother. As the oldest, I was expected to set the tone. Not an easy task for a strong-willed, vocal child! I often set the wrong example, showing my sisters what not to do!
Mom’s exhortation was a wise one. She knew the value of self-controlled children. She knew my sisters were watching me and making life choices based on my own. She also knew what was at stake: I could obey her instruction, or I could live for myself, with varying consequences. What excellent preparation this was for me as a wife, mother – and eventually – pastor’s wife! Children need good role models, and so do adults.
As citizens of Heaven, we all need wise, godly examples of people who live in this world, yet belong to another. We also set the example for those following our lead.
When my husband and I made the move from associate pastor (with two other pastors on staff) to senior pastor (with Josh being the only one), our lives shifted. We moved from a place where people knew us quite well to a community where we were strangers to most people. The limelight felt much brighter in our new ministry. We knew people were watching us before, but we became more aware of curious gazes.
As we prepared our house for sale, and searched for one in our new town, my husband kept reminding me that we were modeling the Christian life for our church family. How we engaged in the moving process mattered. The details – of where the house was located, how large or small, the cost of the home – mattered. Our attitudes and perspectives were important, too. During this time we also lost my beloved father and my husband’s hard-working mom. I was fearful that I wouldn’t be of use to anyone. I was grief-stricken by our losses.
The timing of our sorrows felt like pounding waves, one after another. Yet again, we had the privilege of modeling life in front of others, seeking solace from our Lord and receiving love from the body of Christ. They saw our pain, and they met us in it. Our eyes were being drawn upward, reminding us that our home is not here. We were being watched. And rightly so.
My husband’s wisdom, regarding our example, steeled my heart. I began re-framing my thinking. I started viewing our lives as a means of discipleship. We, as believers – and as pastor and wife – are different. Our responses do matter. We have the precious opportunity to look to Christ for our sustenance, and as leaders, we have the privilege of nourishing others with what He has given us.
Our church families want to know that Christ is enough for us. And for them. We have the joy of believing it ourselves and living it out before them. He is enough for life and godliness. He is enough for any lack we may have. He will sustain us according to His will and ways. He will lead us and give us wisdom. We are citizens of Heaven. Do we live like we believe it?
We have the benefit of Biblical characters who chose to follow Christ: Paul, Timothy, Priscilla and Aquila are some that I admire. Each of them modeled godly leadership in different ways. We can glean wisdom from their examples, and we have the examples of those who follow Christ today. Titus 2 models mentoring relationships for us, both as the “older woman” as well as the “younger woman”. Do you have a more seasoned pastor’s wife who you can call on for advice and encouragement? Are you investing in younger pastors’ wives, seeking to bless them and help them pursue faithfulness in their calling?
I have found these relationships to be priceless. Sometimes the questions we have can be best answered by those who have gone before us. The confidential nature of our roles also requires us to carry heavy burdens. Godly friendships in ministry are God’s kind gifts to us as we are ‘seen’ by another woman who is likely carrying heavy burdens herself.
The apostle Paul encourages the Philippian church (and us) to imitate him and to follow the examples set by the faithful (Phil. 3:17). He lays out both negative and positive examples of living.
He tells them to avoid imitating those who walk as enemies of the cross. Ultimately, these enemies set their minds on earthly things (Phil. 3:18-19). How easy it is to fall into an earthly mindset, forgetting our heavenly destination. Just as we seek godly examples to follow, we must avoid ungodly ones.
How might we live as citizens of Heaven? Here are just a few examples: We do our work faithfully, as unto the Lord, and not unto man. We seek His favor above all else. We pray that the Holy Spirit works in the hearts of our congregations as well as in our own. He is powerful and works in mighty ways. As His citizens, we strive to live like this is true. Because it is.
We can choose to joyfully walk with our Savior, seeking His glory and trusting His care over us.
We walk as citizens of Heaven as we remember our destination and to Whom we pledge our allegiance. Ultimately, we look to Christ as our example. As we look to Him, we will look like Him, and we lead others to do the same.
Taking it Further: How does living as a citizen of Heaven play out in your life today? Does viewing your life as a means of discipleship encourage you to keep focusing on Christ, our greatest example?
