Over 40 years ago, I went through a divorce and moved back to my hometown (where I still live.) My husband had been unfaithful and my life changed completely. Years later, I started a blog about being a single mom. I felt this memory might be helpful to show people in the church how God can use them in the life of a struggling family.
Numbers 13:32-32 “ So they brought to the people of Israel a bad report of the land that they had spied out, saying, “The land, through which we have gone to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. And there we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak, who come from the Nephilim), and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them.”
Sometimes monsters come into our lives and we learn to fight them. Sometimes, the monsters are of our own making.
Sunday morning church service. I had been fighting with myself all week. I knew I should go, but I was afraid. This was the church where I listened to flannelgraph stories about Samuel, Samson, and David; where I enjoyed cookies and Kool Aid during Vacation Bible School; where I’d memorized Romans for the quiz team; where I sang, where I laughed, where I prayed, where I was married. No one wants to return home as a failure. And divorce meant failure to me.
How was I to face my old friends, their parents, my old youth group leaders? New people didn’t know who I was. Could I handle looks of pity? Looks of judgement? Perhaps even someone turning away from me?
In the end, I went to church on Sunday because I knew that I needed to raise my daughters in a church that would teach them the stories about Samuel, Samson, and David; that would feed them cookies and Kool Aid during Vacation Bible School; where they could memorize Romans for the quiz team, sing, and laugh, and pray. What was best for my daughters was also best for me.
The first person who saw me, hugged me, welcomed me. And little by little the fear of being judged, of being pitied, was replaced with the realization that this was my family now. Many had been praying for me – were still praying. We didn’t know each other very well, but they wanted to know me. They wanted to help me. They wanted to love me because I was their sister-in-Christ. Those looks I feared were really looks of love and compassion.
One monster defeated.
A few months later, my pastor asked if I’d like to play the piano for occasional worship services. With a new kind of fear, I said yes! He also mentioned that they needed someone to help lead the fifth and sixth graders in Pioneer Girls. Would I like to serve in that position? Having worked with this same age group in Pioneer Girls while in college, I knew God had gift-wrapped this opportunity.
Another monster defeated.
I was overwhelmed with God’s goodness and I fell to my knees and sobbed. The leadership of my church looked beyond the label and saw my heart. This first step was the beginning of 43 years of ministry opportunities so far!
God surprised me with His gift of my church family. For the last 43 years we have served, prayed, laughed, cried, and rejoiced together. God used the people of this church to draw me into a deeper relationship with Him, to help me raise my girls, to give me joy, to give me life abundant.
And to think I almost missed it because of monsters that didn’t exist.
Taking It Further: How do you and your church greet people who come who are suffering? Are their monsters in your church? How can you slay them?
