“Some of God’s greatest mercies are His refusals. He says no in order that He may, in some way we cannot imagine, say yes.” Elisabeth Elliot
I grew up watching suffering done well. Through my school years, I had several teachers whose wives were chronically ill and often bedbound. I watched these men talk about their wives with such love and devotion. I saw them run home during breaks and lunch to take care of their wives’ needs. One of my teachers, Mark Redmond, and his wife, Susie, were my bonus parents during my difficult high school and college years. I never heard a complaint from Mark as he cheerfully took on extra work to pay medical bills and juggled caring for Susie, his children, and his students. His love for Susie was evident, and his love for God even more so. I never heard a complaint from Susie, even though she was in almost constant pain and often could not get out of bed. She joyfully helped people where she could, encouraged those around her, and took time to minister to and protect my hurting heart when my parents went through a divorce. Throughout the years, our church prayed constantly over these men and their wives, begging God to give them relief and healing. Susie’s relief came when God took her home, where she has been running the streets of gold for over twenty years now with her legacy of joy and trust in the Lord still marking those who loved her.
The impact of seeing God through another person’s testimony is powerful, but seeing God through our own testimony is life-changing. I never anticipated that when my husband, Billy, and I got married, we would walk through our own road of physical suffering. It has been almost ten years since his “simple” sprained ankle turned into several surgeries, which led to Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and nerve damage in his ankles. Every step is painful, and there is no rest for him even at night. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions as we have been learning that we can have hope that eternal healing is coming, even while still struggling with his suffering here on earth.
I know that we are not alone in our cries to God to relieve this suffering here and now. Like King David, we lament the pain and beg for healing and relief. But also like David, we ask God to “turn our wailing into dancing…and remove our sackcloth and clothe us with joy” (Psalm 30:11). Not only do we see God’s faithfulness in the middle of suffering throughout Scripture, but we also have God’s promise that each of His children will be made whole and perfect in His coming kingdom. In the meantime, we can lament as David did through our pain and suffering while keeping our eyes on God and His character. Lament and trust go hand in hand with a logical progression from pain to praise.
Be honest about your suffering. (Psalm 34:17-18)
Sometimes we feel as if we are complaining if we talk about our physical suffering, as if there is a special righteousness in suffering in silence. It is encouraging to see how David did not hide his pain throughout the Psalms. He named his hurts, disappointments, and personal attacks by his enemies. He did not shy away from his pain but explored how deeply he was hurt and how broken he was in this broken world. Hiding the fact that we are suffering does not lessen the pain, but it does indicate perhaps that we don’t fully believe there is a purpose in our suffering. Ignoring the hurting keeps what God is doing, how He is being present with us, at arm’s length. Acknowledging physical suffering, both to ourselves and to others, allows us to see how God is walking with us through our suffering.
Recognize God’s sovereignty and plan in your suffering. (James 1:2-4)
The hardest part of Billy’s constant pain is remembering that God does have a purpose for his suffering. I will be honest that it is easy to get caught up in the unfairness of it all. David, the anointed king of Israel, did not deserve to run for his life from a man who called him son. Billy did nothing to earn the pain that he now carries, but God is using that suffering to refine his shepherd. Billy’s suffering has refined his empathy for those who also suffer from pain, trauma, and sin, transforming his effectiveness in caring for others. He shepherds well because they know he understands their hurts and deeply cares that they respond well in those times of trial. Billy’s pain has broken his pride, given him extraordinary patience, and given him nowhere to turn but to God. The very God who has all power over heaven and earth (Daniel 4:35; Lamentations 3:37-38; Proverbs 19:21) is not only aware of Billy’s pain, but He cares about that pain and has a plan for that pain for Billy’s good and God’s glory (Jeremiah 29:11).
Petition God for your suffering. (Romans 8:26)
Throughout the Psalms, we see David expressing sorrow and confusion about his circumstances (Psalm 22:1-2), asking for guidance and wisdom (Psalm 143:8), repenting (Psalm 51:10), begging for deliverance and protection (Psalm 86:6-7), and most importantly praising God for His being and His character (Psalm 18:2-3). Sometimes my soul feels weary of going to God over and over again with the same request for healing, but God does not get tired of my requests. God already knows my heart and wants me in a relationship with Him through my petitions (Philippians 4:6). He wants me to turn to Him in prayer so much that part of the Holy Spirit’s role is to petition on my behalf when all I have left is groaning.
Trust God in your suffering. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
As we follow David’s pattern of lament in the Psalms by acknowledging our physical suffering, seeing God’s sovereignty, and petitioning God for healing, there is one more piece that David always added in his psalms of lament. David had unconditional and unwavering trust in God. God offers us more than a temporary fix in this broken world. He has promised complete healing in a restored kingdom (Revelation 21:4). Yes, He can choose to offer healing on this side of heaven, and He often does. But if He chooses to have us wait until He calls us home, we can also have unconditional and unwavering trust that God is with us in our suffering and is refining us through that suffering to be more like Him. God is making all things new and will remain faithful to us in our suffering until He calls us home.
Taking it Further:
Here are some questions to ask: How am I or my loved one physically suffering right now? Be specific and name all the different hurts and pains and how they are affecting you and your loved ones. How is God using this suffering for your good and His glory? What do you want to ask God for in your suffering? Pray specific verses claiming His promises about the healing that is coming in our transformed bodies in His perfect kingdom.