If we’re honest, as pastor’s wives there are times we don’t want to serve. We can feel internal tension between knowing we should serve and having the feeling of weariness from the demands of ministry and family life.
God wants us to serve Him out of our giftedness, but sometimes we are expected to do things in the ministry outside of our giftedness. When serving out of my giftedness, I am motivated, finding joy and satisfaction. When serving out of obligation to the expectations or opinions of others, I find it drudgery. Bitterness can creep in, stealing my joy.
When my husband was a pastor in a challenging congregation, I struggled with wanting to serve. I prayed about it. The Lord showed me where to serve according to my giftedness. And so, I did.
When murmurs of criticism reached me, I felt hurt. My desire to serve evaporated. My heart became heavy with the burden of serving as a pastor’s wife.
I pulled back from serving for a while, needing recovery time. I questioned the Lord—did I misunderstand Him in how He wanted me to serve?
The Holy Spirit convicted my heart. I needed time with the Lord to have honest prayer about the condition of my soul and attitude of my mind.
In Matthew 11:28-30 we read:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
God whispered to me, “Do you need a yoke adjustment?”
My yoke of ministry felt heavy and clunky. I had a hard time moving under its constraints. I was doing more than I should in my own strength and was wearing out. I prayed but still struggled to release the burden of serving the Lord. I carried it on my shoulders like a weight.
Why did I feel burdened in serving if the Lord’s yoke is easy? Jesus’s words are intended to comfort us, but sometimes my heart isn’t open to receive them. Often, we think of a yoke as burdensome. Jesus says His yoke is a positive thing, using it as a metaphor to teach us.
A yoke is the wooden collar, which joins two animals, usually oxen, to enable them to pull together. A younger, weaker ox is paired with an older, stronger one, connected by the wooden collar. Over time, they learn to work together, walking in step with one another as a team.
When we are yoked with the Lord, we learn to walk in step with Him. He helps carry the burden that is on our backs. His yoke brings relief to our weary souls.
I desperately needed a yoke adjustment. I wanted to be yoked with Jesus, serving as a team with Him, not independently on my own strength.
How are we yoked to Jesus?
- Seek the Lord. Throughout the Bible is the command to draw near to the Lord.
Psalm 27:7-9 says,
Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
The Lord desires us to seek Him in every situation. We have the promise that God will hear us. When we are still before him, we tune out the noise of the world around us and can more easily hear Him.
- Surrender it to God. Give up the pressure of the ministry to find rest for your spirit
Psalm 55:22 says,
“Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.“
The word cast means to throw, hurl, or fling. It is an intentional throwing aside, more than a gentle toss.
We can hurl the burden of hurt or angry feelings on the Lord. Doing so will lift the burden from our soul. He will still love us when we are honest with our feelings. Give up the pressure of the ministry and find rest in the Lord.
- Pray for an attitude adjustment. God can change our negative attitude when we let Him. Once we have gotten rid of any difficult feelings, we are more open to receiving God’s word.
In Philippians 4:8 it says,
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
This verse teaches us to look for the truth in our situation, not to hold onto bitterness. We look for the best possible reasons to serve using our giftedness. Then we can serve from a pure heart with excellence.
I regained a better perspective after a time of rest from serving. God saw my weary heart and heard my prayers. He adjusted my yoke through spending time with Him, resting in His Word and promises.
Serving is a command from God, but it becomes an issue of the heart when we don’t feel like it or do it out of obligation. Yoke adjustment is necessary to get back in step with Jesus.
When we seek His face, surrender the burden to God, and ask Him for an attitude adjustment, we are yoked to Jesus and the burden of serving becomes lighter.
Taking it Further:
What was a difficult time when you needed a yoke adjustment? How did you grow through it?
