Our world turns swiftly. Devices ding and flash ‘very important’ messages. E-mail and phones can lead us down endless rabbit holes, consuming precious time that had other claims. We know too much, and the data overload takes a toll on our bodies and emotions. Daily life is filled with the challenges of family, church, work, and community.
As pastor’s wives, we also are privy to insider information. Our husbands carry a unique weight, and we also bear some of the heaviness.
When life’s burdens add up, it can be difficult keeping our gaze turned upward.
As Jani Ortlund says, ours is a “crisis” calling. She gives insight for wisely managing this life:
“Christian ministry is a crisis vocation because you are dealing with people, and people have crises: death, illness, accidents, divorce, rebellious kids, addictions, conflicts, deadlines. As best you can, choose which situations you will allow to become emergencies. Coach yourself to relax. Choose delays, slow routes, a longer checkout line at the market. Don’t waste your adrenaline. You have a limited amount of emotional and psychological energy. Use it wisely.”1
As Jani suggests, we can control how we manage the stress that enters our ministry lives. We do not need to hold every crisis as though it is our crisis. (Easier said than done.)
As citizens of Heaven, we serve a King Who wants our gaze to be fixed on Him. He will provide our needs. He will walk us through the valleys. He will lead us, because we are His.
Colossians 3:1-2 says:
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth.”
Instead of wishing we lived in a simpler era, let’s remember that, like Queen Esther, we were placed here, “For such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). The Lord is fully aware of our culture and the ‘time saving devices’ that seem to suck us dry. So, how do we manage? How do we faithfully seek Him?
We accept Scripture’s invitation to purposeful, thoughtful living. We are called to set our minds on things above, turning our eyes to our beloved Savior. Not burying our heads in the sand, like an ostrich, but being intentional in how we think about our lives and what we do with them. We look to Christ, like Peter did as he walked on water (Matthew 14:22-33). We know He is with us. We rehearse His Word and His faithfulness to us, personally. We ruminate on Him, not on our trial. We stew in His promises, not in our problems.
Setting our minds on Him is an intentional action. If we practice this during the calmer seasons, it becomes a habit that serves us during the stormy times. But there are those days (weeks, months, and years) that seem unyielding in painful trials. During these seasons I’ve found solace in the daily habits of prayer and Bible study. These faithful routines carried me through the darkness. Throughout the day, when the pressures seem crushing, simply repeating a Scripture passage aloud helps calm my heart. Sometimes it’s repeating a phrase such as, “I know You are good, Lord, but I don’t feel Your goodness right now. Please hold me as I hold onto You.”
We know the world is difficult. Pain and sin mark every moment of every day. Plants die. Food goes rotten in the refrigerator. Our bodies decay. We become anxious or angry. We keenly feel the result of sin. And our Savior wants us to look to Him. He wants us to live as though He is on our side. Because He is. We cannot escape the effects of sin, but we can lean on Him and walk with Him each day.
We have many tools for managing the anxiety in our lives:
We ask questions:
- Why do I feel anxious?
- Can I add or remove something to help the situation?
- Can I change the way I think about it?
- Are my fears real or unfounded?
- What am I telling myself? (We tend to believe what we tell ourselves.)
- Do I need outside help?
- What am I believing about God in this situation?
We can nourish and exercise our bodies. We fight for adequate sleep.
Realizing we are finite, we seek God’s help to relieve our anxiety.
We can seek help from trusted friends/family/counselors.
We of the twenty-first century have answers to our questions at our fingertips. Instead of easing our minds, it too often plunges us into overstimulation. Are we too plugged in? Must we stay caught up with the influencers, the news, and every cute reel that comes our way? We care too deeply about peripheral things and not enough about what God tells us to think about (Philippians 4:8).
As pastor’s wives, we naturally carry heavy burdens because of our husband’s profession. The confidential nature of this calling gives us the blessing of walking with others as they walk with God. But it can also take a toll on us if we seek to bear it on our own. With the challenges of modern living combined with being a ministry wife, we must take God at His Word and set our “minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
So, pastor’s wife, who is your God? You cannot Google Him. You cannot exhaustively plumb His depth. But you can draw nearer as you read His Word. You can pray for His leading and for the grace to follow in His ways. You can adore Him for Who He is: Omnipotent, Omniscient, Sovereign, Loving, Holy, Just… You can seek to know the One Who knows all things and make it your lifelong passion to know Him better.
Taking It Further:
What is one simple step you can take to relieve anxiety in your life?
How does adoring God for Who He is put life’s trials into perspective?
Sources
1 Jani Ortlund, Help! I’m Married to My Pastor, Crossway, 2021, pg.39,41-42